


...oh my god they were roommates...

by kzumeknma (born_to_fly)



Series: vines that cleared my skin, watered my crops, et cetera [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Fluff, Implied sexy times, M/M, Oblivious, Roommates, and they were ROOMMATES, don't worry though nothing explicit happens it's just an offhand comment, oh my god they were roommates, spot the bnha reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/born_to_fly/pseuds/kzumeknma
Summary: in which Suga and Daichi have the observational skills of non-sentient moss, or maybe a particularly unobservant brick, and Oikawa suffers.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: vines that cleared my skin, watered my crops, et cetera [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747801
Comments: 13
Kudos: 145





	...oh my god they were roommates...

**Author's Note:**

> y'all it's 4 in the morning. why do i persist. who am i. where do i belong in this world.  
> i wrote this in one sitting while listening to the intro of the tokyo battles stage play on loop and u know i'm boutta write a fukurodani fic next. it's lit.

A shaky phone camera follows the path of a tall brunette as he strides down the street, brimming with confidence and an unhealthy amount of caffeine. No one dares cross his path- he’s got Airpods in, after all. Even if someone were to try to stop him, they wouldn’t be able to. He simply can’t hear the plebs over the sound of his own grandeur.

“....and they were  _ roommates _ !” he insists, quite emphatically, gesturing as if that would somehow impart the gravity of his sentiment to the poor person stuck talking to this walking gay disaster. The camera flips, showing the face of a rather grumpy-looking man, who whispers “...oh my God, they were  _ roommates _ ” and nodding sagely, before the clip cuts to black. 

  
  


Across town, some twenty minutes prior, Sugawara Koushi and Sawamura Daichi were, in fact, roommates. To be completely accurate, they had been roommates for much longer than twenty minutes (indeed, they had been rooming together since they found out they were attending the same university), and they had been very good friends in high school before that.

One Oikawa Tooru, gay disaster and owner of a very impressive collection of hair products, had been visiting the aforementioned roommates for his bi-monthly tea spillage and platonic cuddling session with one Sugawara Koushi, who happened to also be a gay disaster and an owner of a large and impressive collection of hair products. What a small world. 

“Listen, Kou-chan, you don’t seem to understand the gravity of this situation- there is obviously something going on between the small, freckled, green-haired one, and the taller, blonde-haired, bad-tempered one!” Oikawa’s head was in Suga’s lap and his hands gesticulated wildly, as if he were trying to conduct a large and semi-competent orchestra. 

“Mmm hmm, that’s nice” Suga hummed to show that he was listening, even though he wasn’t, and absentmindedly ran his fingers through Oikawa’s hair. Having zoned out for the past two minutes of Oikawa’s chatter to maintain some semblance of sanity, he was unsure as to whether they were talking about two baristas at the cafe down the street, or those two characters in that wildly-popular superhero anime. Guiltily, Suga shook himself back into the present. Tea spillage time was sacred and deserved nothing but respect and care.

“HA! So you agree!” The trash king paused and narrowed his eyes, as if noticing that Suga had only recently returned to being mentally present. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, really) nothing could really stop the train wreck that was Oikawa for long, and he continued.

“Anyways, so I’m walking out of the cafe- those baristas are  _ definitely _ banging, by the way- when I see this girl dressed in a lab coat and purple Crocs absolutely  _ blastin’ _ her way down the sidewalk- I’m talking maximum velocity, Olympic-speed sprinting- and she looks like she might be crying just a little, and, being the kind person that I am, I ask her what’s wrong, and she says, ‘I have a midterm at 2:00 pm!’ and I’m like, ‘holy fuck, dude, it’s 2:20, what the fuck are you doing?’ and she kinda glares at me- which I guess I deserved, because really, who in their right mind would try to sprint in  _ Crocs?- _ and she just-  _ zoom _ \- speeds away, and I swear to God she left  _ skid marks _ on the sidewalk. She didn’t even answer me!” Oikawa can’t help the pout that comes after that, he really can’t. After all, why would someone willingly ignore  _ him _ , the epitome of human beauty and goodness? 

“Tooru, she was probably late to the biology midterm that all of our underclassmen were worried about. Speaking of which, aren’t  _ you _ about to be late for practice?” Suga said, exasperatedly, but still fondly, because even though Oikawa was a little shit, he was still Suga’s very dear friend. 

“Nah, I have time- wait-” Oikawa glanced up at the clock and noticed that he  _ very much no longer has time _ . “Holy shit, time always flies by when you’re spilling tea. Oh, by the way, could you lend me some of your texturizing sea salt spray? I’ve run out and I’ve got a date with Iwa-chan this weekend.” 

“Oh, you finally got the balls to ask him out on an official date? Thank goodness lol.” Suga shoved Oikawa’s head off his lap, ignoring the indignant “ _ hey! _ ” followed by a slightly disgusted “did you just make me listen to you say  _ lol  _ with my own two ears?” and making his way to the bathroom, where Daichi, upon entering the apartment and seeing Oikawa, had decided to take shelter and also a shower. 

“Hey, Daichi- stop screaming, it’s just me- do you know where my sea salt hair spray is?” Suga opened the bathroom door and glanced at his roommate’s naked form through the clear glass partition of the shower stall before rummaging around in their medicine cabinet. “I was so sure that I kept it somewhere in here…”

“Oh, wait, no, Koushi, it’s right here,” Daichi grabbed a small blue bottle from a small shelf and opened the shower door, “Remember, you said you were gonna put it in the shower so you could remember to use it?”

Suga chuckled, slightly chagrined. “Yeah, and look how well that turned out. Thanks, babe.” He planted a quick peck on his roommate’s cheek as he reached out to take the spray. “You down for Chinese from that place down the street for dinner?” 

“Sounds good. Is Oikawa still here?”

From outside the bathroom, a loud thump and screech of “ _ Kou-chan hurry up I’m gonna be late!!! _ ” answered Daichi’s question. The two roommates shared a chaste, close-mouthed kiss and exchanged a heartfelt “no homo” before Suga went to find Oikawa, hair spray in hand. 

“Thanks, Kou-chan, you’re a life-saver, holy shit.” Oikawa grabbed the spray while smashing his feet into his shoes, “next time, we really gotta talk about you and Daichi though.” 

“What do you mean, me and Daichi?” Suga questioned, absentmindedly straightening one of the very coupley pictures of him and Daichi that decorated their living room.

“I didn’t know that y’all started dating! You didn’t even tell me, and I thought we were supposed to be best friends!” Oikawa was definitely going to be late at this rate, but the promise of piping hot tea was simply too tempting. 

“We’re not dating though? We’re roommates.” Suga said, somewhat blankly. In the background, Daichi called out, “Hey, babe, remind me to ask Asahi and Yuu if they’re still down for our double date tomorrow!” 

Oikawa stared blankly at his very dear friend, whispering a heartfelt and passionate, “what, pray tell, the fuck?” An awkward pause. A blank stare. “ _ Really _ , Kou-chan,  _ just  _ roommates?” A longer, more awkward pause. “Ugh, I don’t have time for this right now, but later, we’re going to have a  _ Talk _ . Bye-bye, Kou-chan!” Oikawa flashed his signature peace sign, his smile not quite reaching his eyes as he power-walked out the door and down the hall, muttering under his breath in disbelief. 

“What was that all about?” Daichi asked, finally walking out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He approached Suga and wrapped his arms around his silver-haired roommate with a soft hum. 

“Honestly, I have no fucking clue. Something about us dating?” Suga leaned his head back against a strong shoulder and pressed a few gentle kisses into his roommate’s jaw. 

“Huh, not sure why he would think that.”  
“I know, right? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Anyways, will you show me that thing with your tongue again after dinner?”

“ _ No, holy shit, you don’t get it, you didn’t see _ .” The brunette strides down the street. At first glance, he’s calm, cool, collected, confident. Upon closer inspection, he seems distraught, frazzled, almost traumatized. “ _ You know how people eye-fuck other people? Well, they definitely eye-exchanged wedding vows while I watched, what the fuck, my poor virgin eyes. _ ”

A pause. The person on the other end of the line was surely reminding Oikawa that neither he nor his eyes were, by any definition, virgin, and Oikawa was just as surely ignoring them. 

“ _...and they were roommates _ ”

“ _ Oh my god, they were roommates _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: the oisuga friendship is based on my friendship with my own roommate :')  
> fun fact 2: the tea oikawa was spilling is actually a story about me- i was once 30 minutes late to my 60 minute bio exam (don't worry i made it out alive)
> 
> questions, complaints, kudos, and constructive criticism always appreciated :)


End file.
